VIRGIN HASHERS

First time hasher? 

Maybe you ran into a pack of hashers on your daily walk. 

Maybe you were accosted at the local bar by a bunch of drunken assholes wearing filthy clothing and singing songs. 

And maybe, just maybe, they convinced you to join them. 

Chances are something like that happened, otherwise reading this is a little strange for you to be doing. (Stalk much?)

So now that you've been convinced into joining our merry mob of no good drunkards, allow me to say this to you, the first time hasher, congratulations. There is no way, whatsoever, without a shadow of a doubt that you'll ever do anything to regret this decision. 

That being said.....  

 

 

​You are not a first time hasher, you will be known as a virgin. Congratulations on getting your cherry back. 

There are very few things you'll have to do to prepare for your first run with the Shekou Hash House Harriers, our standards are low and our morals are nonexistent. 

You will be asked four questions on your first run, memorize these as the consequences for not knowing the answer are both outrageous and will make you look "special". 

 

Question #1 - What is your name? 

Your answer - I am (fill in the blank) - If you cannot fill in the blank, you should probably not be in our group and instead immediately report to a mental health clinic.  

 

Question #2 - Where are you from?

Your answer - Where ever you are from. Again, if you cannot answer this refer to the advice from question 1. 

 

Question #3 - Why are you here? 

Your answer - To drink beer. Or any variation of those three words. Unacceptable answers: "because someone made me come", "to exercise", "to not have fun", "to rape a camel"*.

            *the exception here might be if there is a hasher named Camel, and said hasher is totally dressed for it. 

 

Question #4 - Who made you cum? 

Now this is a tricky one, you might be tempted to expound on your previous night's companion, but that is not the right answer. If no one specific invited you, just point to someone pretty (but point with your elbow, as fingers are frowned upon) otherwise simply tell the group the hasher who invited you to the event. Be sure to use their hash name if they are a named hasher. Nerd names are not desirable. 

What's a nerd name? Funny you should ask, what follows is a quick glossary of terms you'll be confronted with at the runs. Don't be scared. just let it happen. 

Beer Stop- A stop along the trail to enjoy a tasty beverage. 

Down downs / Circle-The grouping at the end of the trail, don't worry, it's hard to miss

Dry bag- A bag containing a dry change of clothes and shoes. If it says on the trail information to bring one, it's usually a good idea to bring one, if it doesn't say it on the trail information, it's usually a good idea to bring one. 

Hares- The hashers laying the trail

Head Gear- Any type of hat / cranium coverage. Do not wear it into the center of the circle.  

Nerd Name- The name that a hasher uses outside of hashing. Do not call someone by their nerd name. 

Pack- The group that follows the trail laid by the hares 

Shiggy- Any type of terrain that the trail runs through that is not a sidewalk. This can include, but is not limited to, forests, rivers, swamps, tunnels, creeks, chemical plant run off canals, and massive thickets of thorn bushes.  

Shiggy gear- Garments that prevent aforementioned obstacles from hurting your precious hide. Usually just means soccer type socks/leggings and a long sleeve shirt/under armor.

That should sum it up. For any other questions you have, ask the bastard who invited you out or email us at shekouhash@gmail.com. 

on-on